


build your walls a little higher

by TheLittleTrashCat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Like, Projecting, Questioning, SO, Sad Ending, Swearing, anyways this is just me projecting so you can ignore this if you want, bc i was projecting when i wrote it, i like to call this: i project my problems and issues onto my faves [feat. roman sanders], idfk just take this, it just makes me feel better to put my thoughts dine and i thought "why not share", please remy come back, side note: what the fuck is gender, sorry to anyone who lives in/lived in alaska, switch the name and pronouns and boom thats me, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 20:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleTrashCat/pseuds/TheLittleTrashCat
Summary: Roman was tired.Tired of feeling guilty over mistakes, tired of feeling so alone even though he had a loving family, tired of the way his skin burned for the need for contact.He was tired of having so many people like him, but never be his friend. He was tired of people only interacting with him because it wasconvenient.He was tired of all of his friends fucking leaving him.





	build your walls a little higher

Roman was tired.

Tired of feeling guilty over mistakes, tired of feeling so alone even though he had a loving family, tired of the way his skin burned for the need for contact.

He was tired of having so many people like him, but never be his friend. He was tired of people only interacting with him because it was  _ convenient. _

He was tired of all of his friends fucking leaving him. 

Every single person Roman had gotten close to had moved away to the same fucking place.

_ Alaska. _

Roman used to like Alaska. Used to want to go there to see the sights. Used to think it was cool.

Now? Roman  _ hated  _ Alaska. It had taken every somewhat close friend that had away from him.

And it was only two people!

_ Two _ fucking people, out of the  _ hundred  _ of kids in his grade who had known about him for  _ years, _ had bothered to get somewhat close to him.

God, Roman was so  _ tired.  _ He had thought that he had been getting better, because he had been slowly getting closer to people in the grade above him, except whoops, they left him, because the grade above wasn't in the same fucking building!

Now Roman was stuck in building with 300 strangers, 100 of which hadn't even  _ bothered  _ to get to know him.

And he hadn't even done anything!

...At least, he didn't think he did.

But, ever time someone hung out with him enough that he started to let his walls done, they left, because he was too dramatic, when all he really wanted was for someone, anyone, to fucking  _ care! _

If they came up to him and asked for help with their issues, he would help them, because he was a nice person, god damnit!

And yet...no one would do the same for him. If he opened up about these feelings he was sure they'd just laugh in his face, or...something…

God, he had thought he had been getting better. He had been thinking more positively, and not dwelling on past mistakes, and being more...social.

Except, as the clock slowly ticked closer to school starting up again, his mind started to wander, to worry.

What was Roman going to do that year? All his friends had left! And there was no way he was going to go up and start a friendship with someone. 

Everyone already had their clicks, and that was no more prominent then in lunch.

Because, at lunch, Roman sat completely, and utterly, alone.

Everyone had already grabbed their friendships, and he was the odd one out. The one left alone. The only one who didn't have someone pick them to be their partner. The one who had to be a group of three, because no one liked him enough to want to work with him unless they were _forced _to.

And he was so goddamn tired of feeling this way.

He was so tired of constantly worrying about what other people thought, tired of questioning his sexuality, opinions, fuck he wasn't even sure if he was a  _ he! _

Roman wanted a  _ break _ . He wanted platonic love in the form of a close friendship. He wanted someone who would notice if he had a bad day, someone who cared about his problems, someone who didn't cut ties as soon as he let his walls down, someone who actually  _ give a shit about him. _

But, knowing his peers, he was never going to find that in them. Outside of his family, no one cared about him.

…

That was fine, though.

He would just have to build up his walls up a little higher this time. 

He'd just have to squash any hope for a close, real life friendship as soon as it formed.

He'd just have to build his walls a little higher.


End file.
